For the past few days, have been having sleeping problems...
It's either being unable to sleep...
If not only sleeping for about 3 hours...
And I can feel that I might not be able to take all these stresses any longer...
On the verge of losing my mind...
Losing everything that I hold precious to me...
Losing my sanity...
Losing my hopes...
And losing sight of the paths ahead of me...

It is almost a week...
And during this time...
I'm feeling so lonely...
Feeling like no one is there...
Feeling that you already do not care about me...
Feeling that you do not need me anymore...
I really hope that all of these feelings of mine are wrong...
But apparently they seem to be correct...
Have not recieved any phonecalls from you at all...
And I know that without your phone you can't sms...
But why can't you at least call?
The reason why I did not call you is because I dare not call your house...
Not because I don't want to...
And also because you said you wanted freedom...
Another reason why I did not call is because I was told that you are really stressed out...
And I did not want to add on the those stresses that you already have...
I know that if you had not known me, none of this would have happened...
You would still be with him...
The person whom you love so much...
And yet...

People always say that I am too good...
Too nice to others...
But I beg to differ...
To me...
It seems that I am the cause of all these problems...
If I had not asked you to put on a show with me that day...
Things would not have been like this...
I feel like the bad guy here...
It was because of me that I caused you two to break up...
And caused you so much stress...
So much unhappiness...
I know that you would be so much happier without me around...
And because of this...
I will slowly let go of everything...
I am willing to do so not because I no longer love you...
It is because I want you to be happy...
That's all...

They told me that you still do not know what you want...
And since you don't...
Let me help you...
And when I say help...
I do not mean to literally it...
What I mean is that I won't give you any other options...
But to go back to the way things were back before you did not know me...
I would make it in a way that it feels like I no longer exist in your life...
That all these past 2 months were just a dream or a nightmare to you...

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That Lost SoulY

Name: Cedric Siah Yi
A.K.A: CSYsiansation or Sedorikku or Rikku
Age: Finally 18
Birthday: 02/03/1992
School: Temasek Poly
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What's going on...Y

His wantsY

Her♥
Macallan 12
A motorcycle

LovesY

Zuki Chan Ruo Heng♥
Brothers/Sisters

HatesY

Knowing/not knowing people that I should have known/not known earlier...
The mistakes that I've made...

Soft WhispersY

[ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

SongsY

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

ExitsY

♥
Family
Chng Hui'Cousin
Emelynn'Cousin

Brothers/Sisters
Bernie
Briana
Haiwen
Jessica
Kaigali

Friends
Jasmine
Jasmine Tay
Jonathan Ho
Michelle
Ming Yang
Rick
Zhi An

Forsaken PastY

February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
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