.Saturday, February 27, 2010 ' 1:39:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Really had a great time yesterday...The second time that I celebrated my birthday with my friends...First time was last year at Changi airport...Second time was yesterday...Went to sing karaoke in the afternoob till 7pm...After that went over to Tampines...Later got a surprise at Tampines One...Birthday bash...Cake in face...Man...Really rough birthday surprise hahas...But really enjoyed it...Made three wishes...And two must be said out...So here are the first two wishes...1) Wish that everyone would stay happy together forever...2)Wish that I would be .... by ......And the third one...Well...I can't say that out =)Hahas...
.Tuesday, February 23, 2010 ' 9:59:00 AM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Well...Lots happened in the past 2 days...Was sent to stay with my father...So currently staying over at my father's place...For some reason...I find that it is like a holiday to me...Hahas...Maybe it's cause I have never stayed with my father before...Well...Seems to me that maybe staying with my father would be much better then staying with my mother...But who knows...Maybe after awhile I might change my mind again...Hahas...As time passes...People change...Change to become people I do not reognize anymore...Change in ways I never thought would happen...The one thing I hold most dear to me has changed...And soon I might lose it...For it is not because I does not treasure it...It is the thing itself that does not want to stay anymore...
.Saturday, February 20, 2010 ' 10:23:00 AM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
For the past few days, have been having sleeping problems...It's either being unable to sleep...If not only sleeping for about 3 hours...And I can feel that I might not be able to take all these stresses any longer...On the verge of losing my mind...Losing everything that I hold precious to me...Losing my sanity...Losing my hopes...And losing sight of the paths ahead of me...It is almost a week...And during this time...I'm feeling so lonely...Feeling like no one is there...Feeling that you already do not care about me...Feeling that you do not need me anymore...I really hope that all of these feelings of mine are wrong...But apparently they seem to be correct...Have not recieved any phonecalls from you at all...And I know that without your phone you can't sms...But why can't you at least call?The reason why I did not call you is because I dare not call your house...Not because I don't want to...And also because you said you wanted freedom...Another reason why I did not call is because I was told that you are really stressed out...And I did not want to add on the those stresses that you already have...I know that if you had not known me, none of this would have happened...You would still be with him...The person whom you love so much...And yet...People always say that I am too good...Too nice to others...But I beg to differ...To me...It seems that I am the cause of all these problems...If I had not asked you to put on a show with me that day...Things would not have been like this...I feel like the bad guy here...It was because of me that I caused you two to break up...And caused you so much stress...So much unhappiness...I know that you would be so much happier without me around...And because of this...I will slowly let go of everything...I am willing to do so not because I no longer love you...It is because I want you to be happy...That's all...They told me that you still do not know what you want...And since you don't...Let me help you...And when I say help...I do not mean to literally it...What I mean is that I won't give you any other options...But to go back to the way things were back before you did not know me...I would make it in a way that it feels like I no longer exist in your life...That all these past 2 months were just a dream or a nightmare to you...
.Friday, February 19, 2010 ' 2:59:00 AM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Looks like it's another sleepless night for me...Looks like my insomnia is relapsing again...Finally able to understand how much it hurts to do things without thinking about the people you care most...Finally able to understand how much pain I've caused to the people around me...Finally able to understand that there are so much things that I can never be able to understand...Finally losing my mind...Going real crazy...Sooner or later I might end up in Woodlands resort for the mentally unstable...Or maybe suffer from depression till a stage whereby I start to lose my sanity...Feels like my life is falling to pieces...Really FML...
.Tuesday, February 16, 2010 ' 1:59:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Finally managed to get a good sleep...But only able to do it with the help of medications...And this ain't a good thing...Miss you so badly...Really wished that you could care for me more...Always waiting at my brother's phone to see if you will sms me or not...Always putting my house phone next to me just in case you call...Always thinking of you...Thinking about the times we spent...Thinking about how much happier you always are when you are not with me...Thinking about just letting it all go...Thinking about whether I really am your 'darling'...Thinking about what this title 'darling' means to you...Thinking about how much happier you would be if you have never met me...Thinking about...
.Monday, February 15, 2010 ' 1:12:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Couldn't sleep last night...Don't really know why...Now feeling so damn tried...But at the same time unable to go to sleep...Thinking too much again I guess...
.Sunday, February 14, 2010 ' 11:50:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Just when I thought things would finally change...All I was left with was disappointment...Just when I thought I had changed...But I realised that I have not...I guess I should fully make use of my freedom less time to the fullest...Maybe then things might finally change...What is the real meaning of freedom?Is it to totally not bother about anything?Is it to totally ignore?Is it to totally not care?I really don't know...I really hate my feelings...I really want to be rid of them...To not be able to feel...To not be able to get hurt...To not be able to feel so hurt...To not be able to feel so depressed...To not be able to cry...Labels: In a state of deep depression...
.Wednesday, February 10, 2010 ' 9:21:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Really wished that what had happened yesterday was all just a nightmare...It really was a shock of my life...Never did I expect it to happen...And I really regretted it...Just hope that the people around me who knows what I'm talking about to not continue...Or at least do not end up in the same situation as I did yesterday...It will really change your life...Sorry...I am really very sorry...For what I've done...And all the inconvenience that I have caused...Sorry to make you worry...Sorry to make everyone worry...If I had a chance to redo what I did...I would gladly make things right...And I totally regret what I have done...
.Monday, February 8, 2010 ' 9:31:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Sometimes I really wonder if the decisions I made were right...Really wonder if what I've done will change anything...Really wonder if maybe I did/did not do it will things be better...If only time could be reversed...If only every decision I made will always be the right ones...How good would that be...How I wish that you could treat me better...Make me feel that I am needed more then how much I think I am right now...I know that it's impossible...For I am not the one you love...Maybe just the one you like...And I can never replace the one you love...No matter how hard I try...It would just be in vain...Labels: Darling I love you
.Sunday, February 7, 2010 ' 11:20:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Maybe things might finally be alright...And yet again it doesn't seem alright...All I know is that today I made the right decision...And I'm sure you know what it was too...And I also found out that you knew about my blog long ago...Now the question is...Think it's best to not ask it yet...Labels: Darling I love you
.Saturday, February 6, 2010 ' 1:09:00 AM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
I really hoped I made the right decision...But guess it is already too late to regret...If only time could reverse...If only time could stopped at the points where you and I were enjoying the times we spent together...If only...
.Wednesday, February 3, 2010 ' 10:16:00 PM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
The distance between us seems to be getting larger...And I don't know what to do anymore...I really don't want to lose you...But it seems that it's just in a matter of time...I really don't want to give up...But I think that it is not possible...I know that you still love him...That you still think of him...If you are happier with him then with me then I have nothing left to say...Just hope that he loves you more then I do...All I can say is that I will always be there for you...No matter what...Labels: Darling I love you
.Tuesday, February 2, 2010 ' 11:14:00 AM Y
19/10/2010♥
I love you so much
Hmm... I've decided that on every 2nd of each month I will force myself to blog even if I have nothing to write...Don't ask me why...I just feel like doing it...Lots have happened these past few days...Many things that I did affected who I am today...And the people around me changed along the way...Sometimes I wonder if I made the correct decisions along the way...The things that I did always seem so wrong to me...But what's done is done...It can't be undone...So I'll just have to live with it...And make sure that I wont make the same mistakes again...I don't know what I should do anymore...I am so confused...I am so lost...But I know that my feelings for you are true...And that it will not change...Labels: Darling I love you
