Well today was kinda strange...
Jan passed me all her Sec 3 mid year test papers to photocopy...
Thanks Jan =D

After printing...
Passed one set of Additional Mathematics and Chemistry to her...
Finally got her the mid year test paper she wanted...Hahaz...

Today is also Free Cone Day...
It is the day Ben's and Jerry's give out free ice cream...
Then the queue was damn long!!!
It curved and curved and curved!!!
So many times...

She and her friends din't want to wait...
So ended up studying in library again...
Hahaz...Kept trying to teach her chemistry...
But she keep wanting to do math...
Hahaz...

After that sent her home...
Then went to Central for dinner...
After that walked awhile...
Went back to White Sands...
Then went home...

Haiz...
Don't know what I should do...

Today is the start of the Mid Year Examinations 2008!!!
I am like so gonna fail my chinese paper...
Wrote like damn little...
Almost same as a blank script...

I am like so DEAD...
Spent the whole day in library...
Can't tell the details...

So yea...
I'm dead...
My revision is in a mess...
What else can I say...

Lost and confused...
Why me...
And why now of all times...

Well today was a rather fantastic day and yet siansational...
Hahaz...
Supposed to have English remedial today...
But it was cancelled...
Hahaz...

Went out with Dad...
Had my hair cut...
Now it's all damn spikey...
Just the way I like it Hahaz...

After that watched a movie at the new movie theatre at Downtown East...
Hahaz...
Name of show was Dooms Day...
Damn gruesome show...
Lots of heads dropping...
Lots of disfigured bodies...
Damn violent...
Lots of bad words...
And a lot of blood...
Hahaz...

Well nothing much left to say...
Still thinking of her...
Hahaz...
Don't know if it is worth it...
Haiz...
Damn emo now...
Hehez...
Thats just who I am...
A very emo person...

Did not have time to blog yesterday hahaz...
So something strange happened...
Well...Mrs Chew our English teacher told us to write a composition on a few topics...
Then one of the topic was Entertainment...
Then as i was writing...
I suddenly wrote this...

Don't know whats going on...
Haiz...

Then after that had a mock E-Math test after school...
It ended at around 4.30pm...
And I was late for my tuition!!!
So after test ended, quickly ran all the way to the car park area and got onto my father's car and drove there...
Hahaz...

After tuition was so bored...
So I took this picture...
So emo right?
Hahaz...
Think I'm already emo...


Then today had tuition again...
Then my Bo liao cousin took this picture of me...
He is so LAME!!!
Hahaz...


Well...
Still feeling the same...
Lost and confused by everything I am doing and everything I already did...
Keep having kind of empty feeling inside...
Don't know what is it yet...
Hope to find out soon...
Haiz...
Sometimes I wonder if I should just give it up...

Nothing much happened today...
Guess it's just another boring school day...
Nothing much to blog about too...

Been feeling very lost and sometimes confused about the things I did over the past few days...
Ain't sure why...
It just don't seem right...

It's just so confusing trying to understand everything about life...
Time will reveal the secrets of life...
And all I have to do is wait...

But how long do I have to wait?
How long can I wait?
Should I even wait?
Haiz...

Today is our school's sports day
Did not know that I was the third in the Long Jump event hahaz...
First time I got a medal =P
Even though it is bronze hahaz...

Thinking a lot lately...
Don't know what happened these past few days mean...
Are they hints?
Or are they just coincidence...
Am I just appearing at the wrong time?
Should I have done what I have done?
I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore...

How I wish life did not contain so much mysteries...
How I wish I could understand what is going on...
It's just so difficult trying to understand what I am feeling now...

Don't even know what word I should use to describe what I am feeling now...
Haiz...
Did I make the correct decisions?
I will never know...

Decided to do the quiz...
Cause got nothing better to do hahaz...

So here it is...

A. [[ List 7 habits/ quirks/ facts about yourself. ]]
1. Being Sian Is Who I Am
2. Being Bored Is What I Do
3. Bullshitting Is What I Excel In
4. Slacking Is My Hobby
5. Lazing Around
6. Not Doing Homework At Home
7. Loving HER

B.
01. If you had a chance to go out with the person you like and your favourite celebrity for the whole day(separately), what would you do? I have no idea...

02. How do you feel now? I feel blanked out

03. If you can fulfil one wish , what would it be? I wish to reverse time...

04. Who are you thankful to? Everyone around me

05. Important wishes for now? For everyone to be happy

06. If you can turn something in the past back , what would it be? I Don't know...

07. What are your main priorities now? Nothing

08. What makes you happy? When I have nothing to do... Seeing her face...

09. What do you wanna change in you? Everything

10. What song can represent your feelings now..? Love songs

11. What type of person you like most? Her

12. Are there anything you wish to confess now? I still love her...

13. What is your definition of a dream house? Don't know yet

14. Who will you go to when you are feeling low one day? Don't know... Her i guess...

15. What you hope to achieve? Good O lvls

16. What age do you wish to marry? When the time is right...

17. What do you regret most in your life? I regret confessing to her...(Don't know why...)

18. How many people made you angry for the past few days? Can't remember...

19. If you have a chance to confess to the person you like without giving ur name what will you confess..? I would say I love her...

20*. If someone confess that he/she likes you what will you do? Guess I will Hug her...Then tell her I like her too...

Instructions: Remove 1 question from above , and add in your personal question , Make it a total of 20 questions , then tag 5 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post . Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever has the tag will have blessings from all.

Today is the last day which I will hold the rank of Staff Sargent!
OMGz...
Stepping down todayz...
Sadded...
Wondering how my part B cadets will fair in the hands of the sec 3 Sargents...
Hahaz...

Today scouts had their Foot Drill Test...
Lolz...
And Jun Wei was the one who was Invigilating the test
Hahaz...

After Ncc went to see the test
Lol they took it in school P.E uniform...
Hahaz...

What a strange day...
Before Assembly in the morning, someone told me something...
Shall not reveal it =P
But it shocked me...Or at least for that moment...I think...

After school...For some reason...I felt like going to the stadium...
Went there with my Junior...
Went home to change first...
Then went to his house so that he could change...
Then headed to the stadium...

Did nothing much there...
Cheered for my class and my Junior's class...
Hahaz...
After that went for dinner with her and her friend...Again =D
Talked quite a lot hahaz...
Was like trying not to cough...
Then kept smiling and laughing hahaz...

Then went home...
Now trying to do my homework...
Hahaz...

Think might want to try holding on for awhile longer =D
Maybe this time it will work out...
Hahaz... =D

Well didn't go to school yesterday...
Went to see doctor again yesterday...
Still having a damn bad cough...
Throat hurts a lot...
Strangely it does not hurt when i eat...
Only hurt when i swallow saliva...

Suppose to have geography remedial today...
Then I joke with Ming Yang saying that later teacher say no remedial then sian liao...
Who knew...TEACHER REALLY SAID NO REMEDIAL...
Me and Ming Yang was like WTF...
Hahaz...

Damn sianz...
Think I am back to normal liao =P
Maybe only...
Sometimes I still think of her...
Think I am going to give up liaoz...
HAIZ...

Today had A-math paper 2...
Not too bad...
And yet quite difficult...
Might be able to pass...
Haiz...

No confidence LOLZ...
Donno why...
Damn sian now...

Today 2nd last day of the exams!!!
Had A-Math Paper 2 today...
I think might be able to pass...
But quite difficult the paper sia...
Hahaz...

Was at library today...
Wanted to collect back my jacket...
But ended up staying there...
So talked with friends...
Helped them out with their A-Math problems...
Cuz they having their A-Math test tomorrow...

After that everyone P.S me and someone else...
Then ended up talking a lot...
After that went home...
On the way home bought a light dinner...
Then at home ate another dinner...
Cuz parents cook liaoz...
Duwan waste their efforts...
Hahaz...

Did not have time to blog yesterday hahaZ...
Yesterday was Commendation day...
So happen that I fell sick on Friday...
Well I still went for it...
Because I felt fine before I left the house...
Who knew that I had a high fever...
In the end I did nothing...again...

So since i was doing nothing...My Sir ask me to take pictures
After that when everything was over...
I almost blacked out...
Then measured my temperature...
It was 39.5 degrees...
That was when i found out i had a high fever...

Went home and slept the whole day...
Then during dinner I ate very little...
I even vomitted...
Being sick is not laughing matter...
It hurts a lot...

Well...
Fell sick in school...
Felt damn tired and painful in class...
Whole body aching...
Head damn pain...
And I kept coughing...

After school went to see a doctor...
Doc gave some medicine...
Took it and boom!
I was knocked out...

Today I was suppose to go for a band concert at the Expo...
It is some christian band called planet shakers...
I inviter her...
But she could not go...
Plus I fell sick today...
So ended up not going for the band concert...

Well...
Got to go...
Going to watch movie....
Hahaz....

Byez...

Today was the final training for commendation day!
The actual commendation day should be this Saturday...
Well...
Been put into the GOH...
2nd training that I have attended would have been today hahaz...
Anyways I already know what is going to happen so it should not be too bad...

Left training early because I had "something" on
Went to Loyang Point with Jun Wei, Ren Hao, Dillon and Kenze for dinner at Mac...
Hahaz...

Still wondering why she asked me out yesterday...
Don't see any connection...
Now I am starting to wonder if she likes me...
Or that I am imagining things...
Haiz...
What should I do?

What should i do?
Every minute seems very long when I do not communicate to her...
I want to tell her so many things...
But what is the point?

She does not seem the least bit interested in me..
Everyday when i see her...........................................
Rather then talking...We would walk away................
And when i look at her...I will be mesmerized..........
Pain is all I feel when i am away from her................
How did I fall so deep.................................................
I am so lost...So confused........................................
Now I don't even know what i am doing....................
And yet i am conscious of what i am doing..............

What should i do?

Haiz...
What is wrong with me?
Why can't I stop thinking of her?
Tried to stop sms-ing her...
But it did not work...

I can't tell if she likes more or not...
But it is very likely that she does not like me...
Can't seem to let it go...

What should i do now?
Really lost and confuse...

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That Lost SoulY

Name: Cedric Siah Yi
A.K.A: CSYsiansation or Sedorikku or Rikku
Age: Finally 18
Birthday: 02/03/1992
School: Temasek Poly
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What's going on...Y

His wantsY

Her♥
Macallan 12
A motorcycle

LovesY

Zuki Chan Ruo Heng♥
Brothers/Sisters

HatesY

Knowing/not knowing people that I should have known/not known earlier...
The mistakes that I've made...

Soft WhispersY

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SongsY

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

ExitsY

♥
Family
Chng Hui'Cousin
Emelynn'Cousin

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Bernie
Briana
Haiwen
Jessica
Kaigali

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Jasmine
Jasmine Tay
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Michelle
Ming Yang
Rick
Zhi An

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February 2008
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